4 Things You Should Make Time For Everyday

 Blouse- c/o Chicwish, Necklace- c/o Styled by Tori Spelling , Pants- Franchesca's, Shoes- Jessica Simpson, Hat- Target

**bracelets- THREADS Check out the new stacks and spring bracelets now in the shop!

Yesterday Mike and I both took the entire day off of work to celebrate our anniversary. I'll admit that I got a couple of work related things done in the morning and in the evening, but a good 10 hours was spent doing absolutely anything that we wanted to. I kept saying to him, "Is this what it feels like to be retired? We just do whatever we want all day long?" It was fun, and I felt free. But I also recognized that if I ever stopped working I would miss it so, so badly. We're all at different stages in our lives. Some of us are in school, stay at home moms, full-time employees, entrepreneurs, and maybe even all of the above!

Despite what phase of our lives we are in, here are 4 things that we need to make time for every day.

1- Taking care of your body: This includes getting ready and physical exercise. Even if you only have time to quickly brush your hair and put on a coat of mascara, it is incredibly important that you put a little bit of time into how you look. When you get ready, you feel better. It's not about being vain, but about showing up presentable. It allows you to have more confidence. It is also very important that you stimulate your body by working out every day. It clears your mind, keeps you in shape and healthy and makes you feel better about yourself. Find time for at least 30 minutes of exercise every day. This is something that I am really working on! (Maybe because it's swim suit season soon... idk ;) )

2- Real conversations with the people you live with: Sometimes Mike and I's schedules are so different that it would be really easy to go a day or two without even having a face to face conversation with each other. We make an effort to make sure that never happens. It is important to engage with the people around you for multiple reasons. Stay interested in their lives and create memories together, no matter how tired you might feel at the end of the day. Creating relationships is what this life is all about and time needs to be put into spending time with those closest to you.

3- Service: When you take 5 minutes of your day to do something for somebody else, your whole attitude and outlook on life will change. Bold statement, I know. But it is true. The service can be as small as leaving an encouraging note or talking to a stranger. Other projects could include taking dinner to someone you know needs help, volunteering somewhere, mowing the old mans grass up the street, etc. The fact of it is when you focus more on others, you focus less on yourself. This means your stress goes down, and your problems seem a lot less crazy. Change your life by serving at least one person every single day.

4- Prayer or meditation- It is very important that you communicate with God, or whoever you believe in, on a daily basis. This gives more purpose to the day and makes you more aware of what you need to be doing. Take those quiet moments to reflect on your day and pray for guidance and strength. If you do not believe in God, meditate. Meditation will clear your mind and make you feel renewed. Quiet moments are essential to figuring out what the next step is that needs to be taken in your life. It allows reflection of blessings and can also make things seem a lot less overwhelming.

Is there something that you can not go without doing everyday? Let us know in the comments below!

Person 1.

**I sent this note off to our neighbor, who broke down all of our boxes this week that were stacked in our carport in the back. It would have taken us weeks to keep refilling our recycle bin with all of our moving boxes, and on Saturday morning when I went out to take out our trash it has been taken care of. I had only met her one time since we moved in two weeks ago.. I felt so blessed.


Last week, for my 100 People Project, I met a boy who works at a vintage thrift shop that I always go to. I went in to the shop with the intention of hearing an inspiring story from him.

After he rang me up, I told him, "I have a goal this year to hear 100 inspirational stories from 100 people... do you have one that's happened to you in your life that you could share with me?"

He was completely taken back.

"Woah, that's seriously the coolest resolution I've ever heard."

This boy went on to tell me his story of how he overcame his shyness, which was a huge feat for him. In high school we was in beginning drama, and had a really bad grade because he didn't like talking in front of people. His teacher told him that for extra credit he could be an extra in the play. He agreed, and the next day in class his teacher handed him his script. He was going to have to memorize lines.

He said he was nervous for weeks, and on the day of the play, he had to carry a bag of "gold" on stage. The gold was actually popcorn, and when he got on stage he started shaking so bad that he dropped the bag, and popcorn went everywhere. He didn't know what to do, and he kept his head down and whispered a really bad word to himself. When he opened his eyes, he realized that he was standing right in front of the microphone. The entire audience heard him.

He went backstage and sat down. He said that at that moment, he would do drama forever, and has been in dozens of plays since. That moment changed him for some reason, and took away the fear that he had his whole life of being in front of people.

I LOVE hearing these stories from random people! They inspire me so much... Can't wait to share more next Monday.

Go out and meet someone new today.

#100People Project.

Fill Your Own Happy

This weekend I met two crazy and funny twins. Well obviously I met two of them, they're twins. Not to mention, they are the tie dye twins. The live in the middle of nowhere in a barren part of Arizona. You take a long dirt road to get to their place, and they don't see much of people. It sounded like their living space is extremely small, and they make tie dye shirts for a "living". They sell the shirts out of the back of their car and at different festivals around Arizona. Each shirt takes 3 days to make; a tedious process for the fact that not a lot of people buy tie dye anymore. They barter for items that they need, and travel around together. 

Everything I have told you about them is how they explained their life to me. During the end of our conversation together, one of the twins said, "You know, we don't have a lot, but I'll tell you something: We're happy. A lot of people ask us why we're so happy. We just are, and not many can say that."

I've been thinking a lot lately about happiness. What defines it, how we get it, and most importantly, how we can help the people around us find it. 

At first I was thinking about how different my view of happiness and their views of happiness are. But the more I dwell on it, the more I realize that we're actually a lot alike. We both find joy in our businesses, love spending time with our families, and enjoy a good cut of catfish.

The little details of what bring us happiness are different, but looking at the bigger picture, our hearts are filled by the same type of things. I think it's safe to say that you and I find joy in the same types of things. You might not have been listening to Taylor Swift's new CD singing your head off all day, but maybe you were playing your own music, or were being soothed and uplifted by another artist.

I absolutely love listening to music. It really relaxes me and helps me focus. Because I have so many things going on at the same time, my brain is constantly thinking of new ideas and I lose focus easily. But working with music on in the background keeps my head in one place and I'm able to get more done, and at night it helps me fall asleep better. I think one of the reasons that I love listening so much is because I'm absolutely positively the worst singer in the history of all singers. My shower tunes are fantastic because that's when I pretend like I'm winning American Idol, but I literally can not hit a note. Since I can not hit a note, I appreciate people who can. Musically talented people have something different to offer than I do, and I love that I can receive happiness from them for something that I can not produce myself.

The other day, someone told me that they wished they had started something like The Shine Project themselves. That they wished they could run their own business and help a lot of people, but instead they're doing (fill in the blank), and are living "vicariously" through me.  Actually, I get told that a lot, and every time I hear it I get taken back. I look at these mothers, and artists, and organized secretaries, and fitness instructors, or whoever it is that is telling me this, and I want to say,

but if you did, who would be accomplishing your job? It definitely couldn't be me, because I do not have any of those talents, or desires to do what you're able to do. I do what I do because it makes me happy... and it seems like you do what you do because it makes you happy. Our ideas of happiness don't have to be the same, and in fact they aren't supposed to be. If they were, then every single at risk youth in America would be taken care of, but no one would be working on a cure for cancer, or have my files organized at the doctor's office, or be good at rubbing my feet when I go in once a year for a pedicure, or be able to fix the traffic light when it's stuck on red! And what happens if no one ever came to pick up the trash that I put out on my driveway?! The streets would be disgusting! No, sweetheart, you don't need to start something like I have. You have your own thing, something that I can never and will never do, and you help the world turn. So please, please keep doing it, but let's be involved in each other's lives and help each other along the way.

It is so important to dig deep within yourself and figure out what it is that makes you happy, and spend your life filling that purpose. I've met a lot of people who haven't done that yet, and float around trying to fill everyone else's happiness cup. When you fill everyone else's cup, and adapt what they love to become what you love for a short time, your cup remains empty. And you don't feel fulfilled. To me, there's nothing worse than wasted potential and not feeling fulfilled.  What we we love does not, and should not, be the same. If we neglect what's ours to take care of, then who is going to do it?

I don't know. But I don't really want to figure that one out.

So if it's making tie dye shirts that really fills up your heart, then make the best tie dye shirts anyone has ever seen. And send me one. Because I'll gladly wear it to support you.

Let's all support each other in our endeavors to fill our happiness cups, and Shine On.

Do Good. Be Better

 Bracelets- Threads (Flash Sale! Use code Fashion for $5 off your order!)

I always get really excited for Tuesdays. Tuesdays are service project days with the high schools we work with. Today we packaged food for hungry kids around the world at Feed My Starving Children. Our kids love it, it makes them feel so, so good.

On my way there, something happened to get my blood broiling. I was going 65 MPH on the highway, which apparently wasn't fast enough for the car that came speeding up behind me. All of a sudden I heard honking and craziness, and as I looked in my rear view mirror I saw his middle finger pointing right at me.

Oh my gosh you're kidding me bro. What an idiot... what a jerk.. what a...

Then he started speeding to my left, the whole time laying on his horn. 

Do I look at him? Oh my gosh I'm so mad why are some people so ridiculous. Don't look don't look don't look.

I looked. His middle finger was still cutting through the air and his lips were saying words that I would get my mouth washed out for. 

Oh boy, I'm gonna give it to him. He's really asking for it I'm so mad.

So I did it. My first instinct.

I stuck out my tongue at him as far as it would go.

And then I started laughing, really hard. I wish someone would have seen it... A grown man flipping off a girl for driving too slow, and the girl retaliating by sticking out her tongue.

We looked like 5 year olds.

I think this is why there's so much anger in our world. People get mad, and take others down with them. Anger is contagious. It can seep in and destroy you. It can destroy your character, your reputation, and your relationships.

I wish I would have smiled and waved. But I couldn't at that moment. I was mad. And I chose to be brought down to his level.

Happiness is even more contagious than anger. I felt it as I arrived at Feed My Starving Children and saw all of our Shine students ready and willing to serve. They replaced my anger with love, and excitement, and gratitude.

That's what we need to do. Take the things that make us angry, and replace them with good.

Do good. Be better.

 (PS: I thought you might like to know that I couldn't use hardly any of the pictures I took for this post. Why? Because my zipper was down. In every single one. Thank you.)

Blessed are the Generous

Tonight, we blessed others. 20 Shine kids, and volunteers, and I went down to Feed My Starving Children to help package food for sweet kids around the world. Before we started we were told a story about a little girl in Africa. Doctors found 8 pounds of rocks at the bottom of her little stomach, because she was so hungry that she was eating mud.

Mud.

They told another story of a young mother in Africa with 4 really young kids. She only had enough money to feed 2 kids a day, so they would eat every 48 hours. Her two year old, who can not understand why she hurts, and why her mother wont give her food, could only eat one small cup of rice every 48 hours.

 Tonight these kids packaged enough food to feed 17 kids every day for an entire year. At the end of the night several of them came up to me, "I can't wait to do more service projects Mrs.", "I really want to get involved more, this made me feel so good."

And then they got on the city bus to ride two hours home.

And that, that is why I love my Shine kids.

This weekend, bless others. You have enough to give. I work with students who have hardly anything, yet give so, so much. 

And make sure you enter the giveaway here that ends Friday night, because these people really are blessing others.

My Strength.

I'm writing this at midnight, but you wont be seeing it for a few hours. I'm just going to write, and not filter too much, and hope things make sense when it's all said and done. And if it doesn't, it's okay. I just have a lot on my heart right now.

Today.

I woke up, got some work done. Had my amazing interns come help me. Got discouraged. Ran around like a chicken with my head cut off for a few hours. Almost cried in the Chipotle line when the worker asked me how I was doing. What's my problem? One of those days. 

But then it changed. Because I went with 30 kids in the Shine club to serve food to the needy downtown. Not just any kids, my shine kids. 30 of my sweet kids who live in inner-city Phoenix. Kids who have been told they're not good enough, and have so much to give it's bursting out of them and lights me on fire every time I see them.  And after planning this and hoping they would all show up, everyone did. Except for one, who called me because she had a family emergency.

It's an emotional job that I have. Being involved so closely in so many lives that I wish I could make better, or change. I hate it when things aren't fair, and being surrounded by unfairness makes me break down sometimes because they don't deserve it. And so I started this whole thing to help them. To save them from doubt, and fear, and pain, and  I work really really really hard to bring them more hope and happiness.

And my sweet, generous interns work really really really really hard to bring them more hope and happiness.

We plan service projects for the kids to do. And it's funny... service, that is. Because you go places thinking that you are needed and are going to help a lot of people, and in all actuality, you're the one who is changed the most. Like tonight, for 3 hours when I was surrounded by these students, I didn't think about myself or what is going on in my outside life one time. Not one time. And I don't think they did either. Because all of them were beaming, and excited, and fighting over who got to do what jobs because they all wanted to be so involved. And everyone was just happy.

One of my Shine interns went, and afterwards I got this text from her... "...Working with (shine) has really made me change my train of thought and it's been so heart warming for me... I truly think I was brought on this earth to help others."

And she nailed it. We're here to help others, and in return, we're changed and blessed beyond what we could ever give.

As I was driving a few of the students home after the service project was over, I started feeling this gloomy anxiety of things I needed to do and figure out when I got home. I was talking to the last student left in my car, asking questions about life, and what he dreams of doing.

And this kid has some high goals. He mentioned his mom, and I asked him a question about her.

He put his hand on his face, covering it from me. "My mom is dead."

All this guilt and rush of regret flooded over me as I wondered how I could ever have such minor trials, and let them affect me so much. I didn't know what to say to him. It's the first time in a really long time that I had no words of console, or comfort, and I wish I handled it differently. I wish I would have said something worth saying, but I didn't, because all that could come out of my mouth was "I can't imagine how hard that  is for you."

No duh it's hard for him. What a meaningless statement to say to someone who probably hears that all of the time. What I wish I would have said was, "Wow, you are so brave. Thank you for sharing that piece of your life with me, because now I am inspired to be strong, like you. I don't know the logistics of it, but I sure bet you're mom is looking down from Heaven, and is really proud of you. For things like tonight, where you go and serve other people because you want to spread happiness, even though you're hurting inside too."

I looked at him in my rear view mirror, his head down, and I thought "these kids are changing my life more than I will ever affect theirs. I can't imagine not spending my time with them."

By now I had hit 13 hours of working, which is fine because it's normal, but I was overly exhausted, and running on fumes. But I had another stop to make. I drove to the other side of town to a Threads employee's home to pick up bracelets. This kid is my hero. He's my hero for many reasons that I know are too private to share with the mass public, but he has overcome a lot. He's also really opened up to me this past year as he's realized my help is consistent, and that I really do care.

He came out to greet me, and lead me to their new place. They move a lot. I must have been a mess, because after I paid him and gave him his new supplies, he said, "Please be safe on your way home. I'm going to get you water, hold on don't go yet."

He came back with the coldest bottle of water I've ever held. I don't know how he knew that I needed it, but he did. Because we look out for each other now. 

On my way home he text me, "Let me know when you're home. You seemed really exhausted and I wanna make sure you're okay :) "

I smiled. For a lot of reasons. But mainly because it feels good to have the people that consume the most of your time and energy really care about how you are. And to see their change in the way they interact with you once you gain their trust.

People need people they can trust. And can draw strength from. And I gain so much strength from these kids that it's insane.

Your Flower Challenge

On Floating Through, & Truly Living

The Shine Project Video

We have been working on this video for the past little bit, and I'm so excited 

to show it to you today. A big thanks to Wayne at Even Keel Productions for all of his time and talent.

Meet a few of our Scholarship Winners for 2011-2012. Thanks to you, these kids are going to college.
Let's spread the message about Shine, and all of the sweet kids we're trying to help.

Please share this video on your Facebook, Twitter, Blog, whatever...

Thanks, as always, for your support. We're doing something big!

*if you feel moved to donate to the scholarship fund, 
theres a donate button on the left sidebar. bless you.

Assumptions

Today when I was walking to my car after running an errand, I shrieked.
There was a huge gash on the back bumper of my car.
The paint was scrapped off, several places were dented, and I was livid.
Our car isn't even a year old, and I was already the victim of a hit and run accident,
and we had just gotten the car fixed about a month ago.
I called my husband.
Someone hit our car and just left. I can't believe this. There's no note, no nothing.
We're going to have to get this fixed again. Can you even believe it?!
In my mind I was cursing at the inconsiderate human being who thought
it was okay to nail into the side of my car, and then drive away. UGH.
I was on my knees rubbing where the paint had gotten scrapped off,
realizing that our car looked completely wrecked.

I stood up, and my eye caught the far side of the parking lot.
I whispered to my husband,
Oh my gosh. This isn't our car.
He started laughing uncontrollably. Like he often does at my fantastic life experiences.
He said I'm with two co-workers, can I please tell them?
Whatever. At least our car was not the one with the dents all over it.

This experience got me thinking.
Maybe to save face and create a learning experience out of it, I don't know.
But I started thinking of all the times I've jumped to conclusions,
passed judgement before knowing the whole story,
and seen other people do the same.

It's easy to think that you've placed all the pieces together
and know exactly how to judge someone else's situation.
It's easy to have your feelings get hurt when you misinterpret what someone says to you,
and to assume that a bad event is going to become a worst case scenario.
We're human, and we think like that sometimes.
But today I realized that if we take the time to stop and look around,
we might find ourselves standing at the completely wrong car.





literally.

A Room Full Of People.

Shine Shirt- HERE
Leather Wrap-C/O Payton Woodcraft
Pictures- Keira Grace Photography

I once sat in a room full of people that I hardly knew.

I related well to the ones who were quiet, who sat by themselves wondering if they

made the right decision to be there. They were shy, and I felt the pain of forcing themselves

to come to this foreign place. What if no one liked them?

What if their insecurities showed? I knew that feeling all too well.

I related to the others who created friends with the people around them instantly.

They were outgoing, willing to put themselves out there to be taken, and loved, and accepted.

I knew that feeling of going out of my way to create friendships,

because it is the force that drove the shyness out of me.

As I looked around the room, I picked out the ones who were fake.

I don't know why they felt so uncomfortable in their own skin, but they did.

And as much as they tried to hide it, it showed. Oh, how it showed. 

That must sting, don't you think? To be so ashamed of who you are, that you lie

to yourself and the people around you about it. I hurt for those people.

Because most of them, probably aren't even half bad.

They just think that they are.

I related to their desire to just be accepted.

In this room full of people, groups started to form. Those with the same interests,

personalities, and desires gathered together.

There were some stragglers who were hoping that someone would reach

out and say, Hey, come join us.

Some of them were picked up, 

and some just sat and waited...and waited.

I just stood on the outside and watched. I didn't want to choose just one group.

No, I would never want that. Then I'd miss out on all the other ones.

As I was making my way from group to group, an argument broke out.

I didn't even know what it was all about it happened so fast.

But groups were disagreeing. And yelling. And saying mean, and hurtful things.

They turned their backs to each other, and criticized theother groups

for the way they were doing things.

Didn't they know they're completely wrong? They would ask their new friends.

In one of the groups, was a quiet one. Everyone around wondered why this one was so shy.

Because I listened, the shy one told me their story.

The shy one had been tossed back and forth between homes and cultures since birth,

and had never been accepted anywhere. Not by their family who lived off of food stamps;

they were jealous that the quiet one was going to escape that life.

And not by the ones in the outside world either. After all, why would they accept someone

who just came from such low circumstances?

So, the quiet one stayed quiet. Never finding a place in the world. But who had so much to give.

I decided that I should go see what was going on in the group down the hall.

They were so loud, each one competing for a voice over the other.

I grabbed the loudest, and quietly said I wanted to hear their story.

The loudest had been in an abusive marriage for 10 years and was searching to find themselves.

The loudest had a broken rib, and a permanent memory of being told over and over

that they were worthless. The loudest was loud, because it was too uncomfortable to be left alone in thought.

Each group was different, yet they were all the same.

In some groups there were atheists who were ridiculed by believers.

What the believer didn't know is that they had been molested their whole life,

and couldn't believe that a God would allow that to happen to them.

There were some people who never had to work a day in their lives,

so they were inconsiderate of what others did and found it easy to judge.

Some of the people were in such economic crisis, that they contemplated taking their life.

The alcoholics that received eye rolls and no compassion had scars so deep

that they felt it was easier to remain in a state of blur, than to deal with their past.

They wanted to escape, and didn't know another way out.

But in this room, no one knew these things about each other.

Because no one took the time to listen.

These groups actually had a lot more in common than they each realized,

but they could never associate themselves with someone who thought differently.

We're all different. We all have different beliefs, ideas, insecurities, and goals.

But that doesn't make us better or worse than the person sitting across from us. 

We only see a surface of a person's life as we interact with them throughout our days.

We pass judgments on these interactions, small or big, because it's the only

thing that we have to go off of; our time interacting with them in that moment.

What we never see, unless we take the time to understand, is why they are the way they are.

We live in a world full of black, white, yellow, brown and red people who believe in being

Muslim, Christian, Aethiest, and Jewish.

These people are married, single, gay, straight, divorced.

You don't have to agree with their lifestyle decisions.

But we can still all respect each other.

And our differences. 

And come together as people for a greater good,

instead of attacking that which we don't understand.

We all have a story.

And we're all people.

Let's unite together.

Let's Do This.

New Bronze Chain SHINE Necklace- HERE

Photos by- Keira Grace Photography

The past few months have been a great giant leap forward for The Shine Project.

The power of social media resulting in change has been proven over and over again

as we've raised awareness and thousands of dollars for the scholarship fund.

Planning the SHINE tour around the country has been so fun,

and I've been blessed to meet some of you, and look forward to meeting

many of you throughout the year.

I believe in growth, and continuing to push yourself out of your comfort zone to get there.

My dream forever and ever and ever has been to be on the Ellen show.

Could you imagine if The Shine Project was able to reach hundreds of thousands of people that way?

Could you image how many more lives we could change,

how many more events could be planned,

and how much more money we could raise for our sweet students?

If The Shine Project received national attention like that, we could be the voice

for so many, and raise more awareness for CHANGE.

Well friends, I've been feeling like the time is now to make this happen.

So here's the plan that a few sweet friends and I have come up with...

Next Wednesday, I will be writing a post called Dear Ellen.

It will be written to her, explaining about TSP, our purpose, and why we want to come on her show.

Here's why I'm telling you this:

I need your help in getting her attention to see it.

Just think... If thousands of us are tweeting her the link, someone from the show is bound

to read the post. It's just a matter of making it visible to them.

This is a huge leap of faith, I know.

But I have it.

And it's ready to explode.

I know that if each one of us commits to merely tweeting her next Weds the link to the post,

and writing in to the show (I'll give the link)

we could seriously SERIOUSLY bring major attention to the work that we're trying to accomplish.

I want to change more lives.

And I know that you do to.

So, here's the question...

Are you with me?

My Friday Pass it Forward Moment

(Mike suggested we go shopping together to buy a new outfit for our anniversary dinner.

I just wasn't mad about it. Whole outfit from Forever21)

This week one of my sweet blog readers tweeted me and said, 

"Someone paid for my friend's food in line and gave her a Pass it Forward card!

She was shocked that I knew what it was, and I got all giddy for her."

Okay guys, that is seriously awesome with a million exclamation points after it.

We're spreading the shine to people who are excited to receive it and pass it forward,

and I can't wait to see the ripple effect of this.

If you haven't read about Pass it Forward yet, click HERE.

Here's my Pass it Forward moment of the week:

Mike and I took a couple of girls in the youth group that I teach to an art festival

in downtown Phoenix over the weekend.

I had bought a pie from one of my students who sells them to help out her family,

and figured we'd brighten up someones day with it.

We were on a mission to choose our most favorite art vendor,

and prize them with the pie and a pass it forward card.

I actually happened to personally know the winner that we ended up choosing...

and she was sooo excited to pass it forward.

I want to hear if you've used your card yet!

Let's spread this.

*and don't forget to document on spreadtheshine.com what you've done with your card!

6 Relationship Ideas...

On Tuesday Mike and I celebrated our two year wedding anniversary.

I'll tell ya what, it keeps getting better and better.

When we were laying in bed that night, Mike asked me,

"You used to tell me I gave you butterflies all the time. Do you still get them?"

I smiled and said, "No, I don't. Sometimes when I'm really excited for you to come

home because I haven't seen you for a while I do. But it's different now. Good different.

 My love for you is deeper than butterflies and surface things. And I love that."

I think a lot of people have unrealistic expectations of marriage, and 

that causes problems because couples become frustrated with each other.

I have to say that Mike and I have a really, really good relationship.

One that I searched my whole life to find.

I want to share with you a few things that have kept the fun in our relationship,

and have brought us closer together. So, here's my tips to you for your relationships:

1. Go to bed at the same time: Life gets so busy. So, so busy... But we've

tried really hard to go to bed every night at the same time. A lot of times I can't fall asleep,

and he's out within seconds, so I take a book to bed and read next to him. There's something

important about that quiet cuddle time, and even when you can't be together all day,

you're able to end your day together.

It helps me remember that we're in this together, and that at the end of the day,

he's the most important thing that my time needs to be invested in.

2. Leave love notes: We bought a little mailbox at target a couple of years ago. 

When the mail tag is up, it means there's a little love inside. Reading how Mike feels about me,

and what he's proud of me for accomplishing gives me a lot of confidence.

It's nice to know how the one you love feels about you. Ya, you know they love you...

but hearing those words of affirmation brings a deeper knowledge.

If a love note is a text...that's great too. Mike texts me throughout the day to see

how I'm doing, and to let me know that he's thinking about me.

3. Hold hands whenever you can: I always get sad when I see couples who don't really

interact with each other. I am a firm believer that it's important to put effort into

your relationship every single day. Physical touch can really bring you closer together...

even when it's as simple as holding hands.

When we're in the car, walking through the grocery store, sitting in church,

you'll always see us holding hands. We did it when we were dating, and there's

no reason that it should change a couple of years later.

4. Create something that's "yours" together: See that picture up there with me in front of a tree?

Ya, that's "our" tree. Mike planted it the day before we got married as a wedding gift to me.

It's grown sooo much, and we go back to it on our anniversary each year.

It's so fun to have something that's only ours, and that we can share with each other.

5. DATE! DATE! DATE! We try our hardest to go on a date a week.

Sometimes it involved staying in and watching a movie, and other times they are more fancy.

One of my favorites was when we met each other in our kitchen and made smore's

in our microwave. Finding new things to do with each other keeps the fun alive!

6. Measure your progression as a couple: I love making lists of things that we've

accomplished as a couple. From buying our first place, to graduating from college together

and seeing specific prayers answered, it's vital to know that your relationship creates good

in your individual life, as well as your life together. Setting goals together and then reaching 

them as a couple gives us things to work towards so we don't feel stagnant.

Do you have any fun ideas to add to the list?

Let me know if you want me to do another one... I've got plenty more where that came from ;)

Finding Your Purpose

Shirt c/o Shop Kempt

I'm a big believer that our minds can literally accomplish anything that we

set out out to do, as long as we use the power within us correctly.

Mike and I went to an art festival in downtown Phoenix this past weekend, 

and naturally I wanted to eat and was tantalized by all the delicious food trucks there.

I was starving, and wanted some sweet potato fries more than life.

On my search for them, there were so many other food choices that I became

seriously distracted. I mean, seriously enticed by every smell.

I forgot how bad I wanted sweet potato fries because it was taking too long to find them,

and I wanted food right that instant.

Then it happened: I saw a food truck with $4 fish tacos, and I couldn't even think about anything else.

I ran up, ordered, and anxiously waited for my dinner.

oh my goodness 

was I disappointed when I was handed the smallest taco I've ever seen in my life.

One taco, for $4. An ant could have eaten it and not been full.

I wanted to pout.

I instantly regretted not getting what I wanted in the first place; sweet potato fries...

And ended up eating part of Mike's dinner because mine was so unsatisfying.

In life there are so many things competing for our attention that it becomes

really easy to forget what we set out to accomplish in the first place.

Whether it be our goal seems too hard, we get to busy, or we settle for something that

satisfies an immediate need... it's a battle to constantly make the choices that lead us closer

to our goal. 

I've learned that living each day with a purpose makes life more focused, and goals become more obtainable.

Some of you might be saying, But I don't even know what my purpose is at this point.

To you I say, don't you worry, we're going to help you remember...Because you have one...

and I guarantee you that it's a big one. 

Purpose= Why

Goal= What

Action/Strategy= How

When I wake up in the morning there's a few things I ask myself.

1. What is my purpose today? (Why am I doing what I'm doing?)

2. What do I need to accomplish? (What's my goal?)

3. How am I going to get there? (What do I need to do to make it happen?)

When you channel your mind to a specific purpose, figuring out the direction you 

need to take becomes a lot easier and much less overwhelming.

You're great. You have a great purpose. And you are more than capable of obtaining it.

Don't you forget that.

The SALT LAKE CITY SHINE EVENT is being planned, and will officially be announced

in the next week! I need 5 project leaders to help organize the event and announce it with me.

If you live in the SLC area please email me at Ashley.theshineproject@gmail.com 

if you want to be involved!

Upcoming events:

San Diego- Click HERE

Northern Virginia- Click HERE

Create Your Own Success Story

This weekend we attended this big fancy gala, which gave me an excuse to get dressed up,

and celebrate my brother. Chandler is a senior in high school, and was awarded as a 

National Scholar Athlete from some big name football charity hoo-dad that I forget the name of.

But that's not important.

Not to brag on him (so sue me if I do... he deserves it) but my brother is a star

quarterback, is in the top 10% of his class, has a full ride to college next year, etc, etc.

(He put me to shame. Dang it)

My parents sent him to an inner city high school instead of the one that my sister and I went to,

and it completely changed my family forever. But that's a different story...

As he  stood on stage, I was so proud of him. It was a complete big sister moment.

On paper my brother looks great. He's accomplished a ton of things, and over 2,000 people 

Saturday night read about all of it. They saw him up there, and saw the surface of what he's accomplished.

But that's not why I was proud. I was proud because of all of the things that I've seen him

do to get there. I was proud because of the work that he's put into becoming a great 

quarterback since he was 6 years old. It didn't just happen over night, but it happened

because he put forth the effort. It happened even though there have been countless

moments of frustration, loss, disappointment, and times that he wondered if it would ever be worth it.

But through it all, he knew that he wanted to win more than he wanted to loose,

so he made it happen.


It reminded me of an email I just received from a sweet girl who is putting together a
SHINE event in a different state. Here's what part of it said,

" ...I never realized all of the hard work that goes into these projects. The anticipation, anxiety, work, effort... The nights laying awake wondering/thinking about who you need to call and if you're working hard enough. 

 I just want you to know if you are ever getting discouraged... You are a blessing....

Just from this last month I have learned a small piece of the dedication it takes to host an event. 

How you just want everyone to love and support your idea as much as your heart is telling you they should! 

You work hard lady! Take that to heart..."

I think that there's a misconception about success; that it's easy.

That there are people who are just more naturally talented, smart, lucky, and the list goes on.

And you see these people on stage, or in the spotlight, being recognized for what they're so great at.

But there's a whole part of the story that has been missed.

The whole success of it isn't in that moment of recognizable glory. No, that's not success at all.

Success is in the lonely moments, when the world is crumbling beneath you, and you start

to doubt everything that you have set out to accomplish. 

Success is when you find yourself in these pitiful moments, and you make the decision 

that you want to win more than you want to loose.

I don't believe that one person is more destined to succeed than another.

What will create your destiny, however, are the choices that you make to either bring you

closer to your goal, or pull you farther away.

Create your own success story.

You're just as good as that person up on stage.

The question is, are you willing to make it happen?