Fill Your Own Happy

This weekend I met two crazy and funny twins. Well obviously I met two of them, they're twins. Not to mention, they are the tie dye twins. The live in the middle of nowhere in a barren part of Arizona. You take a long dirt road to get to their place, and they don't see much of people. It sounded like their living space is extremely small, and they make tie dye shirts for a "living". They sell the shirts out of the back of their car and at different festivals around Arizona. Each shirt takes 3 days to make; a tedious process for the fact that not a lot of people buy tie dye anymore. They barter for items that they need, and travel around together. 

Everything I have told you about them is how they explained their life to me. During the end of our conversation together, one of the twins said, "You know, we don't have a lot, but I'll tell you something: We're happy. A lot of people ask us why we're so happy. We just are, and not many can say that."

I've been thinking a lot lately about happiness. What defines it, how we get it, and most importantly, how we can help the people around us find it. 

At first I was thinking about how different my view of happiness and their views of happiness are. But the more I dwell on it, the more I realize that we're actually a lot alike. We both find joy in our businesses, love spending time with our families, and enjoy a good cut of catfish.

The little details of what bring us happiness are different, but looking at the bigger picture, our hearts are filled by the same type of things. I think it's safe to say that you and I find joy in the same types of things. You might not have been listening to Taylor Swift's new CD singing your head off all day, but maybe you were playing your own music, or were being soothed and uplifted by another artist.

I absolutely love listening to music. It really relaxes me and helps me focus. Because I have so many things going on at the same time, my brain is constantly thinking of new ideas and I lose focus easily. But working with music on in the background keeps my head in one place and I'm able to get more done, and at night it helps me fall asleep better. I think one of the reasons that I love listening so much is because I'm absolutely positively the worst singer in the history of all singers. My shower tunes are fantastic because that's when I pretend like I'm winning American Idol, but I literally can not hit a note. Since I can not hit a note, I appreciate people who can. Musically talented people have something different to offer than I do, and I love that I can receive happiness from them for something that I can not produce myself.

The other day, someone told me that they wished they had started something like The Shine Project themselves. That they wished they could run their own business and help a lot of people, but instead they're doing (fill in the blank), and are living "vicariously" through me.  Actually, I get told that a lot, and every time I hear it I get taken back. I look at these mothers, and artists, and organized secretaries, and fitness instructors, or whoever it is that is telling me this, and I want to say,

but if you did, who would be accomplishing your job? It definitely couldn't be me, because I do not have any of those talents, or desires to do what you're able to do. I do what I do because it makes me happy... and it seems like you do what you do because it makes you happy. Our ideas of happiness don't have to be the same, and in fact they aren't supposed to be. If they were, then every single at risk youth in America would be taken care of, but no one would be working on a cure for cancer, or have my files organized at the doctor's office, or be good at rubbing my feet when I go in once a year for a pedicure, or be able to fix the traffic light when it's stuck on red! And what happens if no one ever came to pick up the trash that I put out on my driveway?! The streets would be disgusting! No, sweetheart, you don't need to start something like I have. You have your own thing, something that I can never and will never do, and you help the world turn. So please, please keep doing it, but let's be involved in each other's lives and help each other along the way.

It is so important to dig deep within yourself and figure out what it is that makes you happy, and spend your life filling that purpose. I've met a lot of people who haven't done that yet, and float around trying to fill everyone else's happiness cup. When you fill everyone else's cup, and adapt what they love to become what you love for a short time, your cup remains empty. And you don't feel fulfilled. To me, there's nothing worse than wasted potential and not feeling fulfilled.  What we we love does not, and should not, be the same. If we neglect what's ours to take care of, then who is going to do it?

I don't know. But I don't really want to figure that one out.

So if it's making tie dye shirts that really fills up your heart, then make the best tie dye shirts anyone has ever seen. And send me one. Because I'll gladly wear it to support you.

Let's all support each other in our endeavors to fill our happiness cups, and Shine On.