Our Saturday.

((love is when you use your arm as a tissue for your kid.... hahahaha))

((Since Mike is the tallest we'd challenge him to see how high of oranges he could pick))

This was the first weekend in months where our Saturday wasn't scheduled with soccer games, or that I was in town and we had nothing planned. It was amazing. We went orange picking out at Agritopia Farms in Arizona and had so much fun. The kids make collections of random sticks and things every where we go, and Shiloh has this little field guide where he documents his adventures and writes about things he learned. A FIELD GUIDE, it kills me. I hope he's a scientist one day because I think he would explode from happiness being one. We were given maps at the entrance of the citrus grove, and the whole time we were picking oranges I noticed that Shiloh was crinkling up his map. I finally asked him what he was doing and he said, "When people see my map, I want them to think I've been all over the place and that my map has been used a lot. So I'm crinkling it up to make it look old."

I'm positive I was not as cute or funny as them when I was little. IN FACT, my mom has made it a point to tell me, multiple times, that indeed I was never as cute and as fun as they are. Ya win some, ya loose some. 

Hope you all had a great weekend!

Authentic Love.

I got an email from my grandma that said, "Ashley! You need to write another blog post. I've read your current one so many times that I have it memorized." Hi grandma, thanks for lighting my blogging fire again.  I'm putting more of a focus on blogging again this year, so hopefully writing gaps won't be so long after this.

Tonight Zoe looked at me and said, "Mom, if you weren't my mom and I was older, and I was a boy, I would definitely marry you."

The other day I got home after an incredibly long day. Honestly, weird thing after weird thing kept happening and when I finally got home I felt like I just exited a tornado. 

The tornado of life, it just whirls so dang fast sometimes I'm not sure how to keep up. Sometimes I try to fight against it, and other times I just let it swoop me up until it decides to float me back out.

Anyways, I got home and my sweet Zoe could tell after one look at me that I was struggling. Maybe my disheveled hair and mix matched sweats gave it away, I'm not sure. But that girl just ran over to me and flung her arms around my waist and beamed at me with those big 'ol eyes and said 

"I love you mommy!"

And for the first time all day I smiled so big my cheeks could have exploded. 

And that is authentic love, my friends.

I'm lucky to have it.

If You Are A Parent: You Need To Read This.

Shiloh took pictures of me at the park after school today.

"Mom, what would you do if I drop your new camera?"

"Shiloh, don't even ask me those questions. That's not an option."

Today our schedule looked a lot like most days do.

Mike gets up and takes the kids to school (Bless him. He knows I can't wake up early.)

We work at our offices until about 5:30.

I pick up kids from school or my mom's house depending on the day.

We come home and do homework, eat, get ready for bed.

Sometimes it seems so routine and mundane I feel like the small things I do like laundry and tucking in at night and making dinner are just a drop in the bucket that just have to be done but don't affect anything. Sometimes actions as a parent seem unnoticed. I didn't realize all that went into being a mom until I became one… and even now, I don't ever fully know what I'm doing.

I know that you guys aren't fully aware of the affects you have in  your homes, because I hear you.

I read your emails, literally every comment you make on my social media accounts, and I know that you have hard days. I know that you get tired, and frustrated, and feel like your days have gone to crap sometimes and that no one notices the valiant efforts you have made.

I have news for you.

And it comes from my kid. The very people we are trying to live our lives for.

Here's the news:

THE SMALL THINGS WE DO FOR THEM IS WHAT MATTERS.

Right on my table this morning, I saw this.

The things that Zoe chose to write about her dad were these things,

"He helps us get to school on time."

"He taught me to play soccer."

"When I read to him, he is impressed."

"My dad is extra special because he tucks me in at night."

YOU GUYS! My dad us extra special because he TUCKS ME IN AT NIGHT.

Not because of all the wordly things, not because of all the big magnificent things we spend our time trying to become… but he's special because he tucks me in at night.

All of the things that we never think matter, or are a checklist of just to-do's…

are the things that are most important.

You're daily routines are noticed. They are needed by your sweet kids who's lives have been entrusted with you. And with everything you could be doing in the world, what impacts them most are the little moments you choose to spend with them, teach them, and let them know that they are most important.

Our lives are beautiful. And simple. You make an impact.

So when you are driving to school early tomorrow morning, and picking out smashed gold fish from your car seats, and tackling kids to get into baths and cooking another burnt meal,

You are creating a beautiful life for your children, and they feel it.

And you are extra special.

4 Ways to Improve Your Relationship in 2015

At midnight you ran over to your honey, smooched him good, and rang in the new year.

Some of you smooched him better than the others, while the rest gave an obligatory kiss.

When you're in a relationship for a while, sometimes things to get in the same  routine, and unknowingly we put less effort into our relationship that matters the most.

Here are 4 Ways to Improve Your Relationship in 2015:

1- Go to bed at the same time: Just this morning, Mike rolled over in bed and said, "You know what my favorite thing is? Going to bed at the same time together." For us, going to bed at the same time has led to better nightly prayer together, late night conversations, and the unity of ending your day with each other. This is something we were counciled to do before we tied the knot, and is something that we have tried hard to see through.

2- Have nightly activities you do together: Our kids go to bed at seven. Which means that unless we want a babysitter every night, we are house bound for the rest of the night. Sometimes I get stir crazy because I can never sit still. Instead of turning on the tv, surfing pinterest or checking Instagram for hours, do something meaningful together. My husband bought a bunch of two person games we play together. You guys, it's actually embarrassing how many hours a week we play Scrabble. But it is so fun, and has become our thing. Put wagers on the games you play, it makes them more interesting :)

I also bought myself a book for Christmas and gave it to Mike to give to me. Ha. Its called You, me, us. You fill it out every night together and its really fun and cute. Having something to do together when the kids are in bed creates important bonding time that helps you remember just how fun your spouse or significant other is.

3- Go on dates: Get ready. Put on your little black dress. Go to a nice restaurant, or make a picnic, and get out of the house and DATE EACH OTHER. Just like you did in the beginning stages of your relationship, the wooing needs to continue.

4- Text each other cute messages through out the day- This is sappy, it's fine. The other week Mike sent me the sweetest message while I was at work and I literally caught myself grinning from ear to ear. Let your love know why you love them. What did they do that day that you appreciate? Tell them. Remind them why they are so dang awesome. 

Love is a great thing. Sometimes we forget and it feels like a chore.

Keep it fresh and alive by not allowing it to become something mundane. 

Shiloh's Birthday

Birthdays are a fun and magical time around our house. Zoe and Shiloh have brought in a new excitement for every holiday, and I love celebrating things with them. Last month Shiloh turned 8 years old, and he's been anticipating it for a long time! I always grew up having the most exciting birthday because my parents really put time into them, and I wanted to do the same for my kids. Last year was the first time I threw them parties, and it stressed me out SO bad. So, for this year, I knew that I needed something fun, different, and also low maintenance so that I wouldn't get all stressed with kids running everywhere and needing a million different activities planned.

The first time I talked to the crew over at Gamez On Wheelz, I knew that I had found the ultimate birthday party jackpot! The huge game truck pulled up to our house 15 minutes before Shilohs party started. They have a staff member who sets everything up, and helps the kids with the games throughout the party. When Shiloh walked into the truck, he started SCREAMING. Actually, all of the kids did, they loved it! They had TONS of games to choose from, and I personalized it so that they didn't have access to games that were rated Mature. In the back of the truck is a stage and another TV for the kids to play DDR. The girls were dancing on that stage the whole party, it was the cutest thing. Inside the truck are four huge TVs, which can accommodate 4 players per TV. At one point I looked inside to find my brother, brother-in-law and husband all playing the new Madden football game. It really is perfect for any age, and it is probably the best party that Shiloh will ever have!

The Gamez on Wheelz crew can go anywhere in Phoenix, and do parties, staff events, block parties… anything! I highly recommend it, and we had a blast!

Around Our Table.

 Eat Marquee Sign- Saw and Steel use code SUNSHINE10 to get 10% off!

 Kitchen table, Side table, End chairs, Table chairs, Round Wall Cubby, Grow Planter- Letter Craft, Ain't Life Grand art by Yellow Bungalow Shop

We moved into our new house about 5 months ago. It's our third home since we got married 4.5 years ago, and we finally feel settled. We still have a lot to do inside of these walls, and I'll bring you an updated dining room in a few months when it's totally done, but it feels like home inside. And that's what matters. I wanted to invited you in for this holiday season, so we can share what we're grateful for, and also because a lot of our furniture is on a huge black friday sale ;) (Wish it was when I purchased it. Dang it.) 

Getting into this home was stressful, kind of dramatic, and I have vowed that we will not be moving for a very, very, very long time. I won't lie, this past summer was one of the most stressful and anxiety filled times that I've ever gone through in my life. I've learned a lot, am still learning, and am incredibly grateful to be where I am right now. You're some of the first people to be invited around our table, and during this Thanksgiving holiday, we have a tradition that we go around the table and tell everyone what we are thankful for.

This year I have a new view on the word gratitude. I've met so many people who are struggling for  basic life needs, and it has softened and broken me down these past few years. I am grateful for what I have. I have learned that gratitude, however, goes deeper than things. Gratitude is a sense of being that you carry around in your heart. I've learned that there's no room for discouragement in a grateful heart, and that focusing on blessings and mercies from God can outweigh any anxiety or worry about things we don't have and situations that we can not control. People who are grateful don't feel entitled to things in life. They don't think they deserve everything to go their way and are resilient and hopeful when situations don't work out the exact way that they want them to. Grateful people share what they have with others, even if they don't have a lot in the eyes of the world. My biggest heroes are people who I've met who give all they have, but are people who should be given to because of their lack of earthly means. Being truly grateful can come from being broken down. When you're broken down you see life differently, you treasure more meaningful moments, and you know that you can bounce back. I'm grateful for these lessons I've learned, for my God who knows how to teach me, and for my family who is always there at the end of very long days.

Shiloh (8)- Im grateful for my life. My family, learning the gospel, and living with a beautiful family. I'm grateful for my sister who always cheers me up when I'm sad, my mom because she always works hard but always knows when to party (haha), and my dad because he works so hard even when he's tired. Even when he's tired he's always the best dad, always cooks dinner, and is very smart. He's the best I've ever had. I'm grateful that we have food, water, shelter, the scriptures and Jesus.

Zoe (6)- I'm grateful for the earth. I'm grateful for my family because they are so nice and they keep me closer to God. I'm grateful for the angels. I'm thankful for animals and my dog especially. I'm grateful for the food and water that I can drink and eat and for my school teacher who I love so much. 

What would you say if you were sitting around our table?

Join our conversation in the comments below, and happy Thanksgiving to you all.

Some Thoughts About Marriage That Changed My Life.

photos by Tell The Birds

Mike is a very calm, go with the flow type of person. He gets things done, is incredibly smart, and is up for any shenanigan that I tell him we're doing. Last year the guy was a sheep for Halloween because I wanted to be Little Bo Peep so bad, so he did the walk of shame through the party for me. His love language is physical contact, and loves being right next to me. There is no sense of personal space for him.  If I was glued to him, he would love it.

I am not a calm by nature type of person. I am bossy, I have to be in charge of everything, and things stress me out. I get stuff done like a boss, but am on high octane most of the time so I have a problem with taking in my surroundings, sitting still, and just "being". I hate being touched too much. I get crowded and bothered and need my space and my own side of the bed.

We sound like the perfect match, don't we? 

I think that the reason I was drawn to Mike in the beginning was because we had the same core values, but I also loved all the ways we was different from me. I needed him to be different that me. Let's be honest, I could never be married to someone who is as stubborn and bossy as I am. It was like I found a person who was who I wanted to be, and he found someone who added a little sass to his life. The other day Mike looked at me and said, "I'm glad you're sassy, or my life would be so boring."

It breaks my heart with how high divorce rates are, how many husbands and wives feel like the other person just doesn't get them or care about their feelings, and how many fights come from a difference in opinion. I wrote a post a few weeks ago about how marriage isn't 50/50, but it's 100/100. So, what I'm about to say won't work unless both partners put in their best efforts.

Marrying someone different than me has allowed my life to become more whole. His strengths make up for my weaknesses, and visa versa. There are things that each of us do that bugs the other person, and that's okay. We're different. You're goal in marriage shouldn't be to change your spouse. And, in fact, the only person you can change is yourself. If their are things they do that bother you because it's not how you do things, fix your tolerance. If you can't agree on activities or dinner or how to make the bed or what time of day the sprinklers should go on… it is okay. As much as I hate to admit this, I'm not always right. Don't tell my husband  I said that or his whole world will be turned upside down. But I'm guessing, that you're not always right either. It is okay to not always be right. I won't say the "w" word, because that just makes me uncomfortable, but allowing your significant other to help you fix your imperfections is what will help your love for them grow, bring you closer together, and build trust.

As people, we don't want to be hurt. We don't want to be vulnerable and left wide open to be exposed to someone else. But that's what marriage is, and that's what it is supposed to be. And when you find the right person, the scariness of it all turns to happiness and joy because it is reciprocated, and the two of you, together, become whole. I've met a lot of people who are afraid to be married. It's okay, I was unsure of the whole thing myself. But here's what I know:

1- Love takes work and when two people work together towards the same goal, amazing things happen. But expectations about what that goal looks like need to be very clear so that nobody is let down.

2- Imperfect people trying to perfectly love each other can be pretty messy sometimes. Forgive, communicate, say sorry, and realize that there will be bumps in the road. It's okay.

3- The parts of you that you are afraid to let anyone see, is what your partner needs to know the most about you. Going through life feeling like you have to deal with hard things on your own is lonely, scary, and pretty impossible to deal with. 

4- Life has more meaning when your focus is on someone else's happiness other than your own.

5- You are deserving of someone being absolutely, completely, head over heels in love with you.

The Tooth Fairy Isn't Perfect

Shirt- ℅ Red 23 Clothing, Boots- ℅ Windsor, Jeans- ℅ Dittos

5 days ago I pulled Zoe's wiggly tooth out of her mouth.

"Wow mom, great job! That didn't even hurt! All I heard was a little click noise and now the tooth fairy gets to come. Hurry, I need a bag so I can go put my tooth under my pillow!"

The excitement she had for the tooth fairy needed to be bottled up in a jar, so I could pour it out on myself whenever I feel low. The girl lit up and pranced around the house. Her magical hope that the tooth fairy would come that night was endearing, and I couldn't wait to put that money under her pillow and hear about it the next morning.

Except something happened, I was exhausted that night and we went to bed late… 

and the tooth fairy forgot. 

Zoe woke up in the morning, and I imagine she giggled as she looked under her pillow.

Unfortunately all she found was her rotten old tooth.

I assured her the tooth fairy would come the next night, and probably missed us because we were up late watching Charlie Brown's Halloween Special. Zoe agreed that must be what happened, and was thrilled to know she would still come.

Except something happened again.

I don't know what happened this time, other than the fact I have too much going on.

But the tooth fairy forgot. AGAIN.

And this time when Zoe woke up, she was so mad that she tried to just go back to sleep and miss out on the whole day all together, because the fairy just wasn't being fair!

We talked our way through it, and Zoe built her excitement back up in hopes Miss Fairy would

drop by soon.

We went to bed that night, and by the grace of God, I woke up from a dead sleep at 4 AM, realizing that the tooth fairy almost forgot about Zoe's tooth for the THIRD night in a row. I stumbled down the stairs, rummaging for money, and decided that the tooth fairy owed Zoe double the going tooth rate because of her lack of ability to show up on time.

When Zoe woke up, she was ecstatic. She had enough money to buy a new princess water bottle, and all was well in the world. The tooth fairy remembered her, after all.

I know, I'm horrible. I'm trying my best I promise. It got me thinking of all the little kids in the world, who put so much love and magic and mystery into the tooth fairy..

who really…

is created out of imperfect moms and dads across the world.

These moms and dads sometimes lie, or cheat, or make really bad decisions, 

they don't live up to promises,  they gossip, pass judgements, and forget what's important in life.

These tooth fairies curse and watch things they shouldn't, repeat bad jokes and get jealous of their neighbors. Sometimes they try to be better, other times they want to give up.

All the while, the trust of our tiny, naive babies are put fully into us.

Their full and all giving hearts are poured into ours, believing that we will protect, and care for, and always love them forever and ever. They don't see the imperfect sides of us, and if they do, they are quick to forgive. They are loyal, loving, trusting, and dependent. 

We need them, so that we can become better.

So that we can become how they see us.

Inside all of the people in this world, 

the ones who have offended us,

or who we think are bad, and mean, and rude

or who we do not want to forgive,

is a tooth fairy.

And behind every tooth fairy, is a child who thinks that life has a touch of magic to it.

Let's not take it away.

I'm putting on my tooth fairy glasses this week, to focus more on the magic inside all of us, and less on the faults that we all have.