4 Ways Not to Measure Your Happiness.

Shirt- c/o Howling At The Moon, Pants- c/o Joe Fresh, Shoes- Piperlime, Purse- Kate Spade, Bracelets- Threads

photos by Mallory Fraughton

I get it because I'm right there with you. Our journey through life can get hard, and all of us crave the feeling of happiness. That's why we're here, right? To feel happy. In order to feel happy, we also have to know what it feels like to experience its counterpart. And that's part of life too, to overcome, get through, and grow up. 

I think a lot of people struggle with happiness because they gage it wrong. The more articles I read on popular websites about what really makes people happy, the sicker I feel. 4 things I have found to truly be no measure of true happiness, are 4 things that I commonly read about that claim to make you happy.

Here are Four Ways Not to Measure Your Happiness:

1- By the things you have- Do you have 100 pairs of shoes? Do you have 1 pair of shoes? If you are truly a happy person, that number won't matter. It won't matter what you have, or what you think you need… happiness can not be bought, and that is a concept that we have forgotten. We look at pretty images online, see outfits tagged on Instagram that could fund a college tuition, are constantly told we need more, and what's new is even better than the original. Listen, things don't change who you are as a person. They don't change your inner core of happiness, and if you think otherwise, then you are merely giving yourself an excuse as to why you aren't happy in the moment. Don't compare what you have to what others have, and don't think one way of living is better than another and therefore only one type of person can be truly happy. Count your blessings, and don't focus on material gain. Bigger is not always better… and, in fact, it will never be better if you aren't happy on the inside. 

2- By basing it on future events- I've met so many people who say something along the lines of, "when this happens then I'll be happy", or "if I was married, or done with school, or had a better job, or blah blah blah blah blahhhhhhhhh." Shoot, I fit into that category as well. We all look ahead, we aspire to be and hope to have, all the while forgetting the blessings in our current circumstance. The problem with always looking to the next thing, is that nothing is ever good enough, and you find yourself chasing your tail in a game that never brings true fulfillment. What's happening in your life now? If you feel like theres nothing, then create something. Create memorable experiences with your family, learn a new skill, do something to improve your life now. And then enjoy it.

3- By focusing on yourself- So many articles are written about what you need to do for yourself, or how you need to spend time pampering yourself and escaping life. I would like to suggest, it's not what you can do for yourself, but what you can do for other people that will bring you true joy. Service is the true joy giver. Spend a day lifting someone else up, and then tell me that you still feel terrible. It's merely impossible. If you live a life engulfed in only benefiting yourself, then I question you, are you truly happy? I won't be easily convinced that you are.

4- Discrediting the little things- ice cream. pool days. little kid giggles. fresh sheets. clean water. new friends. crazy adventures. learning experiences. days off. the ability to work. teaching your children. spreading kindness. There are so many little things that if we just took a second to recognize, it would be impossible to feel unhappy and ungrateful. Gratitude and happiness go hand in hand. Give yourself credit for the little things, give God credit for giving you those things, and find happiness in them.